Fish, Now With Opioid Seasoning: Opioids Make Their Way Into The Food Chain

Updated: Aug 31, 2019

If you thought people getting hooked on Opioids sucked, wait to hear this: Fish populations are starting to show traces of Opioid drugs in their systems. Remember those simpler times when we were only worried about Mercury in fish? Now we have to worry whether they've been contaminated with Oxycodone.

So how did it get there, you might ask? Well, glad you asked. It turns out that when you take an opioid drug your body does not metabolize it 100%, in fact it only takes a fraction of the dose, the rest is expelled via urine, you then go to the bathroom and literally urinate Oxycodone, which goes directly into waterways. The other components of urine are biodegradable but drugs unfortunately don't break down and it ends up in the water, where fish drink it and get high.

And to be honest things aren't as dire. You'd have to eat the entire supply of seafood of a village to get a dose of Opioids, but that is beyond the point. Mussels, which are also shown to be contaminated with these drugs don't metabolize Opioids, so it doesn't affect them, but for example, Chinook salmon might, and all those nasty side effects which normal human beings complain about might start affecting these animals. You know, fun activities like depression, apathy, suicidal tendencies... The fun stuff. Things that could actually jeopardize seafood populations. Endanger them, even. And I'm not exaggerating, if a fish is too depressed or high to mate, there won't be any more fish babies, no more fish babies, you can say goodbye to your sushi.

When a drug epidemic has gotten so bad that even fish are high as a kite, maybe we should start considering changing a thing or two. #JustSaying

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